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Going to the Chapel of Love

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Going to the Chapel of Love

by Laverne de Vries
14 Nov 2006
Peoples Post
Peoples Post

As last week's column was filled with all things pre-nuptial, it won't take a rocket scientist to figure out that this week's column is about weddings.


True to this week's theme it seemed that everywhere I went I was surrounded by wedding images.

While parked outside of my jazz class, I noticed for the first time (and I drive by there almost every week) that there was bridal shop in the same street and was struck by the beauty of the dresses.

And, as always, this stray thought got me thinking. Do I as a commitment 'phobe (and a stubborn, independent feminist) want to get married?

While discussing marriage and weddings a colleague offered this gem of advice: Never get married for love. Instead, Shamiel reckons you should marry someone you like and love will grow.

But if things grow, do they not tend to bloom, wither and eventually die, you may wonder?

Well, here's what I'd like to believe. Despite doing physical science at school for a few years, I can only remember one thing - Newton's Third Law: Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be transformed. I'd like to think this theory is applicable to love. So the beauty of true love is that it does not have a happy ending because love simply does not end.

That said, would I take a risk and pledge a life-long commitment made in front of my Superior Being, friends and all my family? Reflecting on my best friend's wedding (and yes, I did go with one of my gay friends as my date), I think I would. Aside from the lavish reception, the gorgeous dress, the bride's absolute radiance and of course the many gifts, I would do it with someone I loved and could forge a life with because of a movie line that I (and I'm sure some of you) identify with.

It's from Shall We Dance and is offered by Susan Sarandon when she explains why people get married, despite all the obstacles: "We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying, 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'."

As gospel singer Kirk Franklin would say, "Can I get a witness up in here?"

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." : Corinthians 13, verse 13.

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