How many of you are like me - just when you think life couldn't be better, something jumps up out of the blue. This week I was faced with making very big decisions, ones that could ultimately decide my future, and after days of contemplating, I am still undecided.
As I am faced with so many matters all at once, I cannot really get a grip on things. How do you make your decisions, live your own life and still keep those that you love happy? Yes, I know, rule number one in Life's Lessons 101 is that you cannot always please people, but severing ties and hurting people is not a pleasing option for me.
I am the kind of person who does not like feeling isolated or cut off from the rest of the world. I love to be surrounded by people and hate being alone. Maybe this fear stems from when I was a child - I hated sleeping in my own room and having to be home alone, especially if my mom worked weekends.
you cannot always please people
Although I have become and adult, I still have difficulty making decisions, because I cannot yet deal with every curve ball life throws at me. Though a problem shared is a problem halved, I can't bring myself to talk about it either.
Despite always being the kind of person who opens up to people, sometimes you need to draw the line, especially in this part of my journey into adulthood. A part of me feels I will be letting people down, but once in a while one needs to let go.
Sometimes people you love don't always see eye to eye with you, but the last thing you are trying to do is hurt them. When you keep things bottled inside for so long, things you end up saying do or might not make sense and you end up hurting the ones you love.
"Haastige hond, verbrand sy mond"
This is why I want to take time with these decisions of mine, think them over carefully and then make up my mind. My grandmother once told me, "Haastige hond, verbrand sy mond".
I must admit that I laughed when visualising this image for the first time, but I only truly understand it now and I don't want to rush this. She is a wise 85-year old woman who has had a world of experience and always knows what to say.
Another experienced person told me to make a list. "List the pros and cons and then work from there."
But how do I put my life on paper and how does that paper ultimately decide my fate and future?
Do I listen to my wise old grandmother, great friend or to what is in my heart? I've always taken the logical approach to life and sometimes I regretted not using my heart. So could I, for just this once, go with my gut feeling?
For now, I'm off to get that little piece of paper, search my soul and I will let you in on my decision next week.